The Conception Diaries

Completing our family

Cycle 6 CD39 13dpo

Or I suppose I could say 3+6 but that just sounds sooo early!

I did another hpt this morning and got a darker line which pleases me.

Also, and just humour me for a minute, I think I have symptoms.  Surely it’s too early though?  Or it’s my mind playing tricks on me?  Who knows, but my boobs feel odd, I’m tired, I felt nauseous before I ate yesterday and today, I’ve had a couple of dizzy spells, and did I mention I’m tired?!

I may be coming down with something and those ‘symptoms’ may not be pregnancy related at all but I’m kind of hoping they are.

Still haven’t told the husband.  Think I’m going to tomorrow as I’ll be officially late then.  I also bought a 2 pack of digital tests when I went shopping earlier as I just can’t help myself.  I’ll be doing one tomorrow and I know at 14dpo it could either say 1-2 weeks or 2-3 weeks but I’m crossing everything that it says 2-3 weeks.  I’d be surprised if it didn’t really after the good line I got at 10dpo.

I’ll update you in the morning.

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Cycle 6 CD37 11dpo

I got a bfp last night.

I bought a twin pack of First Response tests from the supermarket but realised when I got home that they weren’t the early response ones, but the one step ones that aren’t as sensitive and only say to use from the day your period is due.

Me being me, I didn’t let this put me off as I decided if it was a bfn I’d got another one anyway, so waited until I put Miss C to bed then tested.

The 2nd line came up within seconds.  It’s fairly faint but easily visible.  For a non-early test to show up like that at 10dpo, with evening wee, I’m taking it as a good sign.

Without wanting to jinx myself, I’m feeling a bit more positive about this pregnancy than the previous ones. When I tested with Miss C, I just felt pregnant.  I would have been more shocked if the line hadn’t come up on the test than I was when it did.  Well I felt the same last night.  With the bfp’s in August and December I didn’t really feel pregnant, and even on the early tests I only got super faint lines at 11dpo with those pregnancies.

This has to be it, this has to be my 3rd time lucky rainbow baby.

Oh, and I haven’t told my husband yet.  Despite feeling ok (I’m still scared but feeling more positive) I just need a few days.  Honestly, I’m scared of hurting him again.  With my miscarriages I felt like a failure.  Why couldn’t I carry my baby?  What was wrong with me?  Am I broken?  I’m sure he didn’t think that and he was nothing but supportive but I’m so scared of it happening again.  I will tell him by the weekend but for now it’s my secret.

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Cycle 6 CD36 10dpo

10dpo today and beginning to feel the urge to test. 

I don’t really have any symptoms, a few twinges but that could be anything, but then would I really have symptoms yet?  Probably not.

I have to go into the supermarket in my lunch hour today so considering buying a test while I’m there, just in case.  Despite everything I say about not testing early I seem to just need to know.  Those of you out there who can wait until you’re late are just amazing!

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Cycle 6 CD31 5dpo

Ovulation was indeed on cd26 as I suspected so now I’m patiently waiting for the end of next week to get here.

I’m quite calm about things really.  In previous cycles I’ve been itching to test (I tested at 7dpo last cycle!) but at the moment I feel like I’d rather not know.

There’s obviously a big chance I’ll get impatient before I’m due my period but I’m just not bothered at the moment.  I have only one test in the house, which I didn’t actually realise i had until I sorted some drawers out, which is a cheap internet dip test which didn’t work too great for me anyway so I doubt I’ll test early with that.

So I’m due on Thursday 31st, with fertility friend giving me a test date of Friday 1st Feb.  I’m determined I won’t test before Thursday, and only then if my temp hasn’t dropped.

As for symptoms, none really.  My boobs feel a bit tender, but only just, but I’m not sure if this is just a post-ov thing as I’m fairly sure 5dpo is far too early for pregnancy symptoms anyway.

I’ll keep you updated.

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Cycle 6 CD27 1dpo

I’m fairly sure yesterday was ovulation day.  Ov on cd26 isn’t too bad for me, especially as I was worried that I might have another 3 month long cycle.

I got smiley faces on the cb digital opk’s on Thursday and Friday, followed by a temp rise this morning so into the two week wait I go.

Not sure how I’m feeling really.  Technically we’re in with a good shot as, intercourse timing wise, it’s all good (Mon, Wed, Thurs & Fri), coupled with the fact that apparently you’re more fertile straight after a miscarriage means it’s looking good.

I’m scared though.  I want to see another positive pregnancy test desperately but I then want to go to sleep for 8 weeks and wake up to see a healthy baby at the 12 week scan.

I know I need to think positive, I know the chances of another miscarriage are very low but I really don’t want to go through it again or put my lovely husband through it again.

But for now we have to wait and see.

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Cycle 6 CD22

I thought I ought to let you know I’m still here.

Not a lot happening at the moment.  FF did give me crosshairs and put ovulation at cd16 due to a few weird temperatures but I’m fairly sure it’s wrong.

Still have a sad moment every so often but generally I’m ok.  Had a mini meltdown over the weekend when the husbands step-sister, who already has our pram for her 6 month old, asked if she could have the next stage seat for it.  Of course, we said yes but I just want to scream and shout no.  I should be saying I need it back for our baby but I can’t 😦

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It’s over

Just a quick update from me. I started bleeding on Christmas Eve and bloods and scan last week confirmed I’d had another early miscarriage.

I’m pretty gutted about it but the holidays have been a big distraction.

Really hoping that I’m not going to have another 3 month cycle now.

Happy new year everyone. Lets hope 2013 will be a good one.

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